This week, a photo of a woman crying at work made front-page news. Let that sink in.
A woman. Crying. At work. And somehow, it’s she who has become the story. Not the conditions she’s working under. Not the pressure. Not the hostile
environment. Not the expectations or the relentless scrutiny. No, just the fact that she cried.
Let’s be very clear: women cry at work all the time. Men also show emotion, though often it shows up differently. Research suggests that higher levels of testosterone are associated with fewer emotional tears. This is partly because testosterone can dampen emotional expression in general, especially the kind that’s associated with vulnerability. In puberty, for example, boys’ crying frequency tends to drop significantly, often linked to the rise in testosterone. On the flip side, oestrogen and prolactin - hormones more prevalent in women - are linked to increased emotional sensitivity and tear production. This may be why, on average, women report crying more often than men.
But it's not just biology. Socialisation plays a massive role. From early childhood, boys are often discouraged from crying or showing emotion, while girls may be given more leeway. So even if testosterone biologically dampens crying, cultural expectations amplify that effect, especially in settings like the workplace or politics. Men feel emotions just as deeply, like anger, sadness, joy, fear, but may express them differently. They might act out, withdraw, go quiet, or appear “stoic” rather than tearful. That doesn’t mean they’re less affected; just that they’ve learned other ways to cope or deflect. When I worked in media it was totally acceptable for a man to throw a telephone across the room, but god forbid a woman cried.
Which circles back to the original point: crying isn’t a flaw (or even a gendered flaw), it’s a human signal. When we frame tears as a breakdown instead of a message, we miss what they’re telling us: something isn’t right.
Emotion is part of the human experience. It’s not a weakness. It’s not unprofessional. It’s not dangerous.
What is dangerous is when emotions are denied, ignored, or expressed through harm, shaming others, bullying, manipulation, violence (physical or psychological). These are the behaviours that damage people and poison workplaces.
What is also dangerous are the toxic workplaces that arise when we say there's no room for emotion or imperfection. Why is the woman being blamed here rather than the toxic, corrosive workplace in which she is working?
If we want women to be represented at the highest levels, we must stop punishing them for being human. We need to redesign these institutions, not just to “let women in,” but to actually support them to thrive once they’re there. Because right now? It’s no wonder many women look at public life and think, "No thanks. Not worth the cost".
Yes, I’m angry. Because I care. Because I’m human and have emotions. Because I want better. Let’s stop expecting people to twist themselves into emotionless shapes to survive broken systems. Let’s fix the systems instead.
Rox x